Punisher vs. Batman prt 1

This is a post from a "Super Hero  Movie" debate that I am ashamed to admit I got myself involved in. I wrote this in reply to a post boosting the Punisher as the ultimate Anti-Hero, I would post it but it was mostly "Bat Pussy" type slurs as well as other choice chest thumping playground speak popular among the net nerds. I will however post his rebuttle as soon as I see it and finish off the series with my closing words, so without further ado:

It's hard to argue Punisher vs. Batman as they are my VERY close 1&2...but:

The punisher feeds his ultimate sociopathic, irrational desire for revenge. He is pure, pent up barbaric aggression. He gets things done on the fly and a lot of luck. He is bad ass, no argument here. But really. Who the fuck are his enemies? None of them are impressive. NOT A ONE.

Barracuda: Zzzzzzzzz. Any low level [strike]green beret[/strike] weekend national guard could foil this mook.

Bullseye: Really. I've heard that "Guns are for show, while knives are for a pro", but then really, who "brings a knife to a gun fight" Bullseye = One dead toss pot.

Jigsaw: Nope. Love child of Prune face crossed with 2face. No dice.

The Medallion: This one has always made me laugh. It's Bob from fight club &  Jabba the hut. Even a pinko panzy like the Daredevil could place crosshairs on that fat fuck.

The Russian: They don't even have real names now? Just obvious stereotypes? Can’t wait for the updated one: The Mulla.

Bengal: The lamers version of the Black Panther. Another idiot bringing a knife to a gun fight.

The Bushwacker: He turns his arm into a gun. Fires bullets from his index finger. I did that like crazy...when I was 7 and not allowed to get a cap gun. Pinko Canadian parents.

The Kingpin: I have to give this bad ass his due as he has both the Punisher & Daredevil constantly fucking his shit up and he still gets away with murder. If there was no Kingpin the Punisher would be irrelevant.

Mister Badwrench: This guy was invented on the fly while the writer was waiting to get his oil changed at the dealership. He has a wrench that replaces one of his hands….and he’s good at fixing cars…

Slug: Because The Medallion fit in most of the panels….and captain America had issues foiling him.

Bruno: Created the punisher and came back a whipping boy for a demon named Oliver. Calling a demon Oliver is like calling Sylvia Plath a writer.

General Kreigkopf:  = Gny.Sgt. Hartman with less entertaining lines. Gomer Pyle took him out, so even Robin could make short work of this guy. Go! Go! Chris O!

Gnucchi: Punisher took both legs & arms, but still can’t quite finish the job? Way to get revenge on Snooki’s grandma.

Persuader: HAHA. Awesome. He can make anyone do his bidding, the only catch is that it doesn’t work on the suspecting….so he decks himself all in white, wears bright yellow rubber boots and adds a bulls eye to his chest (also yellow presumably to Cialis the Punishers failing eyes) to level the playing field??

The Tinkerer: I like this guy, he’s got a hobby to be proud of, as well as a gaggle of grandchildren, bad eyesight and terrible denture adhesive but yet the Punisher has a challenge?   

Blastfurnace: A teleporting robot furnace. I’m pretty sure Ralphie’s dad kicked his arse right out of the Christmas story.

Burnout: Exactly. Look what happened to Amy Winehouse. It’s always better to burnout then fade away, I just wish this terrible list of “super villans” would do just that….but…

Elite, The Holy & U.L.T.I.M.A.T.U.M.

If this is all Crime has to offer, where do I pick up a pair of tights?  

None of these guys can even hold a candle to the Joker. NOT A ONE. This guy represents everything society fears. Complete, unpredictable chaos, and he does it with a flair that no super villain can touch. This is the ultimate bad guy; a sociopath in its most base & feral nature. Line up any comic /Hollywood/book “villain” and the Joker will come up roses, usually dripping acid. The only one that will come close is Ichi the Killer….. but he’s Japanese and if you had to deal with a housing crisis like they have, you’d have a little empithy.

I haven’t even gotten to Bane, never mind Ra’s al Ghul. That’s not even taking into account the literal 100’s of lesser known villains who would be a joke solo, but like the Chinese army, are a fright in numbers. An anti-hero isn’t made up of the nameless goons that end up chum, but by the quality of the room you fill in Arkham Asylum.

So, put on your party dress Nancy, because your pro Punisher ranting argument have been thoroughly violated.