How was the Trip? Thanks for the Gift

I: "When is it Ok to go into someone's office & drop Bombs to rival a summer thunderstorm?"

J:"Bomb?"

I:"Ass. Loud, Blasting Arse!"

J:"It's always Ok"

I:"I have a leather chair that is NEVER going to be the same."

I:"It's always OK, I missed that internal"

J:"LOL"

J:"Wtfffff"

I:"Seriously. Sick. I keep this uninterested look on my face for that exact reason. Everyone should know to to keep ring firmly sealed when in my office for fear of foot removing door #2's virginity."

I:"The kicker: Female."

J:"Someone shit all over your air space??"

I:"YES. She leaned forward to show me a line on a piece of paper and tore out a thunderclap that knocked on my door."

J:"Was she embarrassed?"

I:"Who cares. I was assaulted! She is still of the age where she should have control of her rings"

J:"Lol"

I:"I don't want to look at the chair for fear of finding a smoldering mess. Either she ate her faux Jean Paul G Bag or she's burned a hole in my chair."

J:"Two words. Lysol wipes."

I:"SICK! I do have some alcohol ones in the first aid kit. Do you think this constitutes an emergency? I have to sign those fuckers out? How about the burn kit? It may have given me a tan?"

J:"Keep the tan. Yes. This is an emergency."

I:" Thanks Dr.I'm going to need you to write me a scrip and a Dr's note."