Wise words from Shah Gilani

Occupy Wall Street, Consider This My Gift to You...
by Shah Gilani
Dear Reader,

Out of far left field, I see something coming that I never expected.

It's more like the coming together of pieces of a puzzle that have eluded us for too long.

By the way, Occupy Wall Street, if you're listening, and I hope you are, and you're still floundering (which I know you are) without a cause that anybody can really wrap their heads around, drop your drums, chants, and wanderings, and make the coming together of this puzzle what you're protesting.

And make what could result what you are demanding.

Because, really, this could be the mother lode.

The U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission is accusing six former executives of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac of playing down the risk to investors of their firms' aggressive fast-forward into subprime mortgages... which caused them to implode spectacularly.

Two separate civil suits, filed last Friday, allege that the executives "knowingly misled investors" who owned shares in the companies and were thus deprived of critical information against which meaningful investment decisions are generally made.

The two wards, currently under U.S. conservatorship (life support attended by a wet-nurse), were themselves spared being sued, on account of their signing civil non-prosecution agreements and promising to cooperate and not dispute allegations (and also not have to admit nor deny wrongdoing). Yet the SEC is seeking financial penalties, disgorgement, and an order barring guilty parties from serving as officers or directors of any public companies in the future against the implicated executives.

The SEC faces an uphill battle based on one word - "subprime."

The problem is, subprime has never been legally defined.

You know what it means, I know what it means, everybody knows what it means, without knowing its exact definition. But if there's no definition of subprime, defense lawyers will counter that it's not possible to sue based on a standard that has never been defined.

How about we compare mortgages to cars and subprime to clunkers. If you're on my used car lot and I offer you two cars at the same price and don't tell you one is a clunker, is that fair? You wouldn't need me to define "clunker." If I said one was a clunker, you would simply choose the other car; after all, it's the same price.

There is a difference, there's a big difference.

Over on the Fannie and Freddie lots between 2006 and 2007, they were loading up on clunkers and not telling anyone what they were stocking. In fact, they were saying things like, "basically (we) have no subprime exposure" in the single-family realm.

They lied.

One of the reasons they were loading up on subprime was because Wall Street banks were eating their lunch by buying up subprime loans, packaging them, and selling them to investors hand over fist, and Fannie and Freddie wanted in on that very lucrative business. It's not that they hadn't dabbled in subprime before; they had. But as they saw stresses in the marketplace on the better mortgages in their portfolios, they still loaded up on far weaker credits; also known in the business as SUBPRIME.

So what's next?

There are going to be a lot of emails and other testimony coming out about who knew what when, and who lied to who to make how much.

It's going to be fun to watch this thing unfold.

But the whole point of this piece of the puzzle coming to light is that, to make their bonuses bigger and their options worth more, these executives leveraged their essentially "private" companies knowing that their losses would be "socialized" (paid for by taxpayers) if their bets fell apart.

Their lies are no different than the lies told to investors by the big banks during the credit crisis (and most of the time, for that matter).

Yes, if the SEC wins their cases, there's hope that the lying executives of our biggest banks (and, if there is a God, the liars at the Federal Reserve, too) will be brought to justice for misleading not only their investors, and the American public that bailed them out, but also Congress (not that they would ever lie), who crafted legislation to save us from another financial catastrophe without knowing how the banks and the Fed lied to us all.

Thanks to Bloomberg LP and Fox News Networks LLC - who sued the Fed to get them to cough up data under the Freedom of Information Act - we know just how much they all lied.

We now know the bankers were telling lies to our faces while being propped up by the backdoor boys at the Fed. Heck, most Fed regional bank presidents didn't know, the Treasury Secretary didn't know. Nobody but the bankers and the Fed knew that they were lying to us.

Again, courtesy of Bloomberg, here's what they were saying, when they were saying it, and how much money they got from the Fed to keep their doors open on the exact dates that their borrowings peaked:

• On September 21, 2008, Morgan Stanley CEO John Mack said, "Morgan Stanley is in the strongest possible position." By September 29, 2008, they had borrowed $107 billion from the Fed and took another $10 billion in TARP money.

• On January 16, 2009, Citicorp CEO Vikram Pandit said, "We have an irreplaceable franchise." By January 20, 2009, they had borrowed $99.5 billion from the Fed and took $45 billion in TARP money.

• On January 22, 2009, Bank of America CEO Kenneth D. Lewis said, "The diversity and strength of our company is allowing us to continue to invest in our business to drive future profit growth." By February 26, 2009, they had borrowed $91.4 billion from the Fed and took $45 billion in TARP money.

• On December 16, 2008, Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein said, "Our deep and global client franchise, experienced and talented people and strong balance sheet position our firm well." By December 31, 2008, they had borrowed $69 billion from the Fed and took $10 billion in TARP money.

• On February 23, 2009, JPMorgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon said, "We believe we have a fortress balance sheet." By February 26, 2009, they had borrowed $48 billion from the Fed and took $25 billion in TARP money.

• On March 6, 2009, Wells Fargo CEO John Stumpf said, "We couldn't feel better about the future." Meanwhile, as of February 26, 2009, they had borrowed $45 billion from the Fed and took $25 billion in TARP money.

They are all liars. They should all be prosecuted for misleading their investors, the public, and Congress.

It was these very banks that were feeding crap to Fannie and Freddie and at the same time competing with them to grow the whole pie for all their bonuses and stock options.

It was a giant scheme - don't you get it?

And because they are such good liars they, the banks, and the Fed will tell us and Congress that we can't handle the truth and they lied to us to protect us from the reality of how bad things really were.

Really? We need to be protected from the truth so we can continually be lied to so they can all make more money?

Sure, that's why total assets held by the country's above-named biggest banks have risen 39% since 2006. That's why average banker pay in 2010 was the same as it was in 2007. That's why banks spent 33% more money lobbying Congress from 2006 through 2010. That's why Dodd-Frank isn't completed and never will be. That's why America has become a sinkhole.

And speaking of sinkholes...

No, I'm not going to point to that former MF Global leader Jon Corzine, who used to brag that he co-authored Sarbanes-Oxley when he was a U.S. Senator (such an august body!), which hopefully he will be hung by, along with the entire gallery of rogues above who deserve the gallows... no, not him.

Time out...

In case you Occupy Wall Streeters missed the other pieces of the puzzle, there was the list of lies the bankers foisted on us while being aided and abetted by the lying Fed and how they should all come under the axe of Sarbanes-Oxley, after all, it is still the law of the land. Those are the pieces of the puzzle that need to come together.

But, alas, I digress once again; back to Freddie and Fannie.

No doubt you knew that Newt Gingrich, former Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives from 1995 to 1999, a House member since 1979, author of the Contract With America, and the distinguished first House member in history (he will like this, he is an historian, did you know?) to be disciplined (and fined $300,000) for ethics violations. (He actually faced 84 charges during his, did I say "distinguished," term, and quit before he could be kicked out of that, did I already say "august," body).

When he "quit" he said, "I'm willing to lead, but I'm not willing to preside over cannibals." Good for him! Because once freed, the august historian was called upon to eat at the august table of Freddie Mac.

Of course, he didn't approach them. He says, "I was approached to offer strategic advice." Nice work for $1.6 million if you can get it, being an "historian" I mean, and offering The Freddie ..."advice on precisely what they didn't do."

He actually said that.

Oh, what they didn't do, now I get it.

The Newton bomb must have been talking about Freddie not raising the fees it charged back in 1995.

You probably don't remember, but back then some actually, really august members of the House wanted Freddie and Fannie to raise their fees to make them more competitive with private mortgage outfits. There was serious concern back then that the Government Sponsored Enterprises were too enterprising and, with their de facto government backing, could raise money cheaper than private outfits and outcompete them in their rather large business space.

But Newt-to-the-rescue - the same Newt who said, "I've never done a favor for Fannie or Freddie" saw to it that the proposed fees would never see the light of day. Ah, all in a day's work over at our august Capitol.

Is he a liar? I would never accuse anyone of being a liar, you know me... so let me put it nicely... He is a liar.

Where was I?

Oh, have a Happy Holiday... and if you don't have any presents to give out, you can always pass this along as a pillow to any of the cold kids camped out with their Occupy Wall Street posters as comforters.

Seriously, Happy Holidays!

And one more thing. There won't be an Insights & Indictments in your mailbox this Sunday morning... I just don't have the heart to do that on Christmas.


Shah

Games of the Year

For all of those who know me, I collect board games, frequent boardgame sites and and everything else that is involved with being a board game nerd. http://fortressat.com/ has a good group of people that contribute, maintain and review everything that could hit the tabletop. I ran across a piece that asked for participation in rating published games for the year, http://fortressat.com/index.php/articles-analysis/2977-fat-readers-choice-awards-its-time-to-vote-for-your-fat-game-of-the-year,and couldn't help but put something together. I thought I would share my post, and hopefully draw some traffic to a site filled with some pretty amazing forums:

Best 2-player Game

DreadFleet.

Since I missed out on Man’O’War and have been sorely tempted, but have so far refrained, to collect a couple fleets to play with, I have found peace with this offering. The models are sharp as fuck, the mat is lay you down by the fire sexy and the rules are Neanderthal simple to play. Plus, I’ve plied the old man with World Jr. Hockey Champ tickets to paint them all for me.

Best Storytelling/Thematic Game

Merchants and Marauders

Pirates, 2012’s zombies.

Best Card/Deckbuilding Game

Blood Bowl: Team Manager

As above with Dreadfleet. I didn’t get on the bandwagon 1000 years ago and have been tempted by a few teams, this thankfully sates some of that frustration/cost. Don’t have to bribe pops to paint the teams I may have picked up otherwise.

Best Adventure(Action) Game

Ascending Empires

Not 100% where else to put this. You get to flick shit across your kitchen table while building an empire based on your dexterity Skillz. The designer is obviously from the south or some such shit as he’s designed a game that requires you not losing any of your digits to frost bite….so the non-flicking variant could come in handy, good thing I keep my digits buried in various places as to avoid that Canadian conundrum.

Best Expansion

Twilight Imperium: Shards of the Throne

I LOVE Twilight Imperium. Anything that brings this monster to the table is a shoe in for best expansion.

Best Beer n' Pretzels Game

Quarriors

Lets face it, if you drink as much as we’ve been known to, rolling dice is as complicated as shit get’s. We’ve had one of our dolls fall asleep at the table because of the amount she consumed, but with all of the dice rolling fury, she has managed to tie a few one as well as complete this steaming pile of shit. For that reason alone it’s got my vote.

GAME OF THE YEAR

Ascending Empires

I do so love flicking shit, not to be confused with tossing shit, so this one for me is tops. Am I any good at it, no, but it’s fun as fuck and I look forward to getting my arse kicked the next time it hits the table/floor/fridge/my daughter.

Fuck you up the powdered asshole Nostalgia

So, the other day, as I’m rifling through the stations on the idiot box, I hit an image of a roid raging wrestler flying off of the top rope bang’n the elbow as he flew through the air. Nostalgia hit me on the nut like the foe of said high flyer and I couldn’t help but think back to the good ol Sundays watching the WWF at my friends place with his Old man. Ravishing Rick Rude, Honky Tonk Man, Jessie ‘The Body’, Mr Perfect, Jimmy Hart, King Kong Bundy, “Rowdy” Rod Piper, Bobby The Brain Heenan, Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake, Bam Bam Bigalow, George The Animal Steele, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, The Ultimate Warrior, Ric Flair, Koko B. Ware, Ted Dibiase, The Iron Shiek, Jimmy Superfly Snuka, Jake the Snake, Junkyard Dog, Hart Foundation, The Rockers, The British Bulldogs, Macho Man Savage, Hulk Hogan & Andre the Giant. Seriously, I loved this shit. Literally ate it up in the form of Hostess chip WWF stickers and those WWF ice cream bars. Wow. Wonder what ever happened to my good ol pal, I should see if he’s on Farcebook.

“Found him, awesome!” Profile of him and his son, cool.

“Damn, wonder if he’s still pals with so&so, what’s his tits and what the fuck was his name again?”

“Hmmm there’s so&so, holy fuck! He’s still pals with him! Wow!”

2 hours and 15 or so friend requests later I have blazed a trail across his friends list that would have even the littlest hobo chasing her tail. Next day all of the approvals start coming in. Fuck, now I feel some sort of obligation to get into catching up with these people. It’s been 18 years since I’ve been in the old stomping ground, and I have to admit that I am a little curious how things have worked out for this collection of childhood pals.

The original pal is too cool to reply to my e-mail. Meh. Could have been the incident in Jr. High when I was blindly tossing rocks down a slope into a collection of bushes where the “cool kids” were known to hang out “reading” porn. So he ended up with 5 stitches across his forehead, frankenstien never looked so good. That’ll teach you for pulling yourself up the rungs of pubescent hierarchy…..they were only looking for a black friend anyway.

So&So, dude, what the fuck happened to you? The disarming smile I remember trying to perfect is still there, but when people call it a shit eating grin, I don’t think it alludes to eating as much shit as you can cram into it. What, you must be weighing in at a cool half ton. I remember playing Bantam hockey with you, puck bunnies lining the boards to watch you stick handle, whereas now I can see them dipping your arse in water to flood the ice between periods. And the shit you link on your FB page, were you always that ignorant?

What’s his tit’s, I can only imagine how rough a divorce can be, but to lay it all out on a second e-mail is a bit much. Looking at the family photo’s, the ones you haven’t had time to sharpie the harpy from, she did you a favour. This isn’t the time to be down, it’s a time to rejoice, she only managed to suck 80% of your youth, with the help of a good shrink, a few uppers you’ll be good as new!

Whosit, seriously, lay off the roids. Every single one of those photo’s is of some angry, bright red, gun toting, wife beating tosser. Life can’t be that bad, look at what’s his tit’s, he’s mourning over a meth scabbed skank who passed along a pocketful of STD’s he never going to be rid of. Losing her is the least of his worries. I knew you and your sister were closer then siblings should be, but suck it up, she married interracial. This shit ain’t new, and if you continue to “mask” that bigotry with the links you’re sharing on your FB page, you’ll alienate more than your family.

Hey, Failed NHL star. You had one good year playing for Vancouver, the group of us had many more playing street hockey. Remember the day you slapped the ball through the neighbors window and took off like she hadn’t ever seen us play on the street…for the past 5 years? Asshat. Accept my friend request, I need to live vicariously through your 15 minutes of fame. Although it’s still cool to know you did your part winning gold for us as a Jr.

So, I learned two things. Nostalgia is always cooler than the actual. And secondly, leave well enough alone. I lost touch with these guys because we were obviously growing apart, looking at where we all are today only proves more so.  

Mad rants of a Cunninglinguist: Death of an Empire

Mad rants of a Cunninglinguist: Death of an Empire: "It never ceases to amaze me how ignorant Americans are when it comes to the actions of their political parties. The Republicans are responsi..."

Death of an Empire

It never ceases to amaze me how ignorant Americans are when it comes to the actions of their political parties. The Republicans are responsible for the market crash of 08(Thanks to Bush's deregulations, which made possible the Subprime loans & credit default swaps) and the continuing spiral into disaster in which it's currently caught in.

Take a good long look at the Debt number per US President to get an idea of who's done what to the US economy  This will take a bit of actual research on your part to confirm, but it’ll be worth it as it’ll give you facts to base an opinion on instead of blindly regurgitating someone else’s.

The Democrats:

~ Obama is the only Democrat to run a deficit since WWII. (This is understandable considering that the American economy was left in a complete shambles when he took office.)

~ Democrats are responsible for decreasing the US debt by a total of 66.7% (including Obama's numbers)

~ Major Wars (No CIA/black ops aggression included:

1950–53 – Korean War (Truman, Democrat)

2011 –Current – Libya. (Obama. Democrat)

The Republicans:

~ Truman (Roosevelt outgoing) & Nixon are the only Republicans who made a difference to the US debt’s.

~ The Republicans are responsible for a 42.4% increase to the US debt (The outgoing Bush was responsible for 27.8%(increase of 66%) all on his own.)

~ Major Wars (No CIA/black ops aggression included):

1959–75 – Vietnam War. (Eisenhower, Republican)

1991 –Current – Persian Gulf War. ( George Bush Sr. Republican)

2001 – Current – Afghanistan. (George Bush Jr. Republican)

2003 – Current- Iraq. (George Bush Jr. Republican)

My Conclusion:

Every Republican bases their vote on two things while seemingly ignoring what I’ve outlined. Gun Registration & Anti abortion. As long as the republicans leave those two items off of agenda, they have a legion of people to use as they see fit. The real tea party is the one going on at the expense of the American taxpayers to fund 3 ongoing wars as well as fill the coffers of corporations/lobbyists that support the Republican Party. The sooner people wake from the Terrorist fog used to manipulate them into a society based on fear, the sooner they can get angry about the liberties stolen and retake political destiny.

Relationships

So, the pops has moved back to the big cow town in order to be closer to his new granddaughter. We’ve never had the closest of relationships, or been the best of friends. As with many Father/son relationships, there was a whole lot of head butting, fist fights (taught me how to take a punch and grin afterwords, annoyed him, and others, to no end) and disagreements that came between the two of us. Truth be told I think I may have run into him only once or twice throughout my 20’s and into my 30’s.

I moved out before I graduated H.S., moved back temporarily during a rock bottom burnout at 19 which lasted all of a few months. The few times I ran into him I could see the regret/sadness in his eyes and, truth be told, didn’t give a shit. I was angry and determined to do whatever I needed to in order to be his complete opposite. It wasn’t until recently that I really started to think about the things he, as a single father, went through to raise the three of us.

The mother was a bit of a tramp and managed, after years of questionable success, to get her knickers dropped and dutifully knocked up. Ok so it takes two, and as my East Indian Convenience clerk enthusiastically says, “can’t fuck for free”. 9 months later the little mistake is dropped from box and both rents are miserable. Two more bandages to repair the original mistake and the mother is diagnosed with a disease she thinks is the end of the world. Fast forward a year and a half and she fly’s the coop leaving the old man with three brats and debt up to the eyebrows. Moral: Don’t marry Hungarian. Too fucking high maintenance.

Here’s where the respect for the old man comes in. He raised three kids all alone. No wife. No alimony. No family. Nothing. He worked 13 plus hours once we were all in day care. He did this no questions asked (Although there were HEAPS of guilt and other shit we dealt with, but that’s all water under the bridge now). Sure, he slipped, he missed things, he was too strict, he swung first asked questions later, but in the end, he raised 3 pretty sane kids. I won’t speak for what my sisters went through, but I know we all had our difficulties with the old man. They have both since made up, and now it’s high time the eldest did the same.

So, since he’s going to be in my little girls’ life, I‘ve been given an opportunity to mend past mistakes and ill feelings. We have little in common other than a love of things mechanical. I plan on buying a 48-54 Chevy/Ford pick-up for us to strip and re-build together. I have always wanted one of these trucks, he’s always picking up old(er) cars to tinker with, so I’m hoping this can bring us together. Only time will tell, but, the way I see it, it’s the very least I could do for someone who put everything aside in order to raise us.

Wish us luck!

How was the Trip? Thanks for the Gift

I: "When is it Ok to go into someone's office & drop Bombs to rival a summer thunderstorm?"

J:"Bomb?"

I:"Ass. Loud, Blasting Arse!"

J:"It's always Ok"

I:"I have a leather chair that is NEVER going to be the same."

I:"It's always OK, I missed that internal"

J:"LOL"

J:"Wtfffff"

I:"Seriously. Sick. I keep this uninterested look on my face for that exact reason. Everyone should know to to keep ring firmly sealed when in my office for fear of foot removing door #2's virginity."

I:"The kicker: Female."

J:"Someone shit all over your air space??"

I:"YES. She leaned forward to show me a line on a piece of paper and tore out a thunderclap that knocked on my door."

J:"Was she embarrassed?"

I:"Who cares. I was assaulted! She is still of the age where she should have control of her rings"

J:"Lol"

I:"I don't want to look at the chair for fear of finding a smoldering mess. Either she ate her faux Jean Paul G Bag or she's burned a hole in my chair."

J:"Two words. Lysol wipes."

I:"SICK! I do have some alcohol ones in the first aid kit. Do you think this constitutes an emergency? I have to sign those fuckers out? How about the burn kit? It may have given me a tan?"

J:"Keep the tan. Yes. This is an emergency."

I:" Thanks Dr.I'm going to need you to write me a scrip and a Dr's note."

News

Today the beautiful bride and my wee angel took to the air for the little ones first plane trip. 2 weeks of blissful silence, hour long naps, two day parties with an option of a possible bender to make Lindsay Lohan blush.( Has she ever?). The two took off around 6:30 this morning and should be currently hovering around Huston. The baby is pretty laid back and I can only hope that her MO holds during the take-off/landings or else the bride is going to need a few doubles of her own to get her through the final flight into Tamps.

I got a few gifts for the triumphal return of my girls, my way of kissing a little ass for my (undeserved) freedom, hopefully it’ll get me good behavior points if the flights turn into wailing, tantrum filled nightmares. Or even better yet, brownie points after a successful visit with family. Not going to hold my breath for the latter as every trip back home is a Jerry Springer episode. Brother in/out of prison, comatose sister, raging gun toting heart attack stress case of a step father & a demure enabling mother. Did I give a reason as to why I’m not flying today?

For the wee lass I picked up a little pink dress (This may actually be for the beautiful bride as everything I’ve picked up is either black, covered in little skulls or combinations of the two) with a matching brimmed hat(with a little skull bow), mini Mary Jane’s and tiny leggings to keep her from freezing her arse off up here in the great white north. Yup, now that I type this out I know it’s for the bride, Mommy loves dressing this little girl up like a princess, it’s supposed to be my job to help the little girl, and future boyfriend/husband(Singular, as all of the others will disappear.), from being too high maintenance.

For the bride I have made a reservation at a spa for a three hour buff, wax, pluck, paint and massage an hour out of the city. This should give her a much needed rest with nothing to think about other then the possibility of a happy ending with the pretty little girl running her hot little fingers all over the brides body. If the happy ending falls through I have a backup plan involving a brand new spreader bar, ball gag and her favourite toys. Either way, this is going to be one very satisfied kitten.